Career Fair

Should I change careers or...

I have once again been on the hunt for jobs. Freelance jobs, part-time jobs, basically anything. One of the companies I have freelance copy editing contracts from is starting to pick up again so hopefully that will fill my time, but in the interim I have discovered that no one wants to hire real human writers anymore. I don’t (and won’t) use AI and somehow that has disqualified me for many, many positions that come up in my search. After one day of particularly disheartening searching, I decided to think about other careers I could go into since apparently no one wants to even give me an interview where I am sure I would be able to convince them that I would a) be good at the job and b) at least be a personality hire. I’m fun, I swear!

Anyway here is a list of careers I could go into if this whole writing thing falls through.

Construction worker

I hear they make good money. And I’d be so good at NOT catcalling anyone. Plus, most of the time I just see construction workers standing around and looking at holes in the ground and I’d be pretty good at that. Though I did once get removed from hammer duty on a Habitat for Humanity trip because I was so bad at it...so maybe not.

Dog walking/pet sitting

I love animals! And I don’t leave my apartment enough, so walking dogs could be nice. Then again, I AM allergic to anything with fur, and also when I pet-sat my friend’s senior dogs once I spent the whole time checking to make sure they were still breathing because the anxiety of anything happening to them while they were in my care was borderline unbearable, so I think we can cross this one off, too.

EMT

I am way too old to go to medical school or even nursing school but EMT training is shorter. But then again I get carsick easily and probably people in medical emergencies don’t want someone who looks a little green riding along with them. Plus, I can’t imagine driving anything bigger than a sedan in NYC. And, well, there’s the whole hypochondria situation...Okay fine not an EMT.

Hairdresser

I used to be very good at braiding my American Girl dolls’ hair, and I have trimmed my own hair before to non-disastrous effects. I even bleach and dye my own hair! My elementary school teacher training means I’m very good with scissors. Though hairspray sometimes triggers my asthma and the idea of having to make small talk while I work makes me die inside a little. Plus, I haven’t done anything with my stick-straight, thin hair besides pull it into a ponytail in years so this is likely not the job for me.

Lawyer

I used to do the logic puzzles in my friend’s LSAT study book for fun but I think that’s as far as I’d get. I’m no Elle Woods. I also don’t think I have the temperament to be a lawyer. I’d be shouting every time someone obviously lied and would probably start crying if the judge told me I was out of order and asked me to approach the bench. I could simply never.

Astronaut

Besides the fact that I’m definitely not smart enough to be do anything science-related, I’m not even going to pretend like the very concept of space doesn’t send me into an existential crisis if I think about it for too long. Also literally going into space is way too high of a risk for too low a reward. Absolutely not.

Archaeologist

I used to love the mini archeology sections of the Science Museum, and I imagine you’d get to travel a lot with this job. Just hanging out in holes with shovels and tiny brushes. Doesn’t sound TOO bad...then again, it’s a lot of...outside work. And I’d probably get sad every time we found bones because the dinosaurs are extinct. Also despite having seen all of the Jurassic Park movies, I am not confident that I could not be convinced to help recreate the dinosaurs from their DNA...so not this, either.

Private Investigator

Jokes aside, I actually think I would be really good at working in a PI office. I’m very skilled at internet sleuthing, finding clues and solving puzzles. I just don’t even know if PIs are even a real thing anymore? And even if they are, with my luck I’d end up pissing a mob boss off and we all know how that goes.

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I guess I’ll just stick to writing. It’s what I know, it’s what I’m good at. (Well, at least what I hope I’m good at.) I’ll just keep my nose to the grindstone and keep applying for gigs, and making ends meet by whatever means necessary. I’m not actually ready to fully give up my career goals just yet. It was a fun little thought exercise though, wasn’t it?

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